A scary mormon person is trying to save me as of now. IM really has its disadvantages. They say I'll be saved if I read the book of Mormon. I told them I'd rather go to hell. Reason: hell makes a tasty bagel. I'm not against religion. I don't presonally believe in it, but I understand why people do. What I will not understand is why people feel the need to push their faith onto me. I respect their decision to believe, respect mine not to. In the end, it's my choice anyway. I went to church for 8 years. I never felt "close to God" or had a conversion experience that made me believe completely. There were too many holes. Too mant questions that religion left unanswered. So I chose not to believe. But people keep trying to force me!!!!!!!!!!! GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got my prom dress today. Now I can laugh at all the chicks who spent way too much on a dress they'll only wear once ( I spent $22, baby!). It's yo!pink ( gasp! Kate's wearing a color?!) and it's beautiful. Someone has to inform me when the prom is, exactly. I'm not sure whether it's May 25 or 26. I'm going with Heather.... still have to explain that one to my mother.
"No, Mom, I'm not gay. I just don't want to go with any of the boys from BR. Yes, Mom, I know what people will say- what they've been saying all along."
I don't know why, but that kind of thing doesn't bother me. I don't have issues with being popular like my mother does.... When she was in highschool she joined all these clubs to meet people and have friends. But I don't really care. People have always been sure I'm a lesbian. I'll just use this to throw it back in their faces. I don't care about the gossip or the pithy rumors. But Mother will. She's trying to live vicariously through me. She wants me to be successful and popular. I just don't feel the need. Well, enough on that.
I WON!!!! THE MORMONS GAVE UP! WHEEEE!!! I love breaking people :-) It takes time and patience, but I'm very good at it. *EVIL LAUGH*
I don't know what to do tonight. Amanda's away from home, Kat's away from the U.S., Kirsten's sick, John's annoying, Joe's with his girlfriend, the other Joe's working ( I think), Heather is too far away, Colleen.... I wonder what she's doing. But I have no money. Shoot. I need a job. Badly. I wonder if I could work it out where I don't have to come in, they just send me the paycheck.
I'm going to UMass Amherst tomorrow to tour, be interviewed and hang out with my brother. Should be joyous. Maybe I can get something random pierced. Oh, the joy. I go now.

Despite my most valiant attempts, I was awakened this morning to wonderful loud noises. Turns out, the honeypot has parked right behind me (if you don't know what a honeypot is, consider yourself lucky). I can't leave the house and no one's awake yet, so I've resigned myself to blogging and making copies of Lola Rennt for myself and Amanda. I have little to no money and must find a way to entertain myself without using up too much gas. Any ideas?
I will be going to Umass on thursday. My mother has it all planned out... she's organized a tour of the campus, sitting in on a class, a meeting with admissions and a dinner with my brother. I'm supposed to come home promptly at 5 the next day. Where am I going to fit the fun? I want to go and see what life is like there, not spend my time sucking up to an admissions guy to get in to the college. I want to see my brother. He's the only one in this family that I like. I asked my mother why I could not stay for a little bit longer. It turns out we're going to New Hampshire....... joy of joys (sarcasm sign). When I pressed for another date, she told me she didn't want me taking the bus alone to Umass and back again. She wants me to wait until I've learned how to take the bus. HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO LEARN IF SHE WON'T LET ME GO?! Then, as I pressed on this issue, she pulled out the next argument. Apparently, she was stuck on a campus being chased by a bunch of drunk guys ( but of course, she wasn't drunk, not my pure mommy! .....oh, spare me). So she's apprehensive about me going to Umass... she's afraid I'll be corrupted by the bad men and their drugs. Oh, c'mon, Mother, I've been to parties where people offered me drugs. If I wanted to get drunk or take drugs, I would have done it long before now... give me a little credit. But, no, I'm the girl, I must be sheltered. And then she acts like she's doing me this huge favor by allowing me to go to Umass. Neil did much more than me in highschool and he still gets trusted more than me... what gives?
Ah, christ, I'm just making myself angry. I'm going to go see if the honeypot has left yet.

I did not do a blog for yesterday as I was not home. My desire to see my brother overwhelmed the original misgivings I had about travelling with my mother. Will I never learn?
I entered the car well prepared, cd's, books, discman and walkman in tow. I also took a few sleeping pills (not that many, I just have a high tolerance for medication). I didn't want to have to talk to her for 2.5 hours. We were halfway down the street before she did the head tilt, opened her mouth and took a deep breath. I started to moan inwardly. She closed her mouth and I felt relief wash over me like a great blissful tide. Then she opened her mouth again. This time sound came out.
"So, where do you want to go to college, Kate?"
That started it. It was the genesis of all the prattle that would issue from her larynx for the rest of the ride. I would answer in as few words as possible, punctuated by random grunts, until lovely, lovely Unisom started to work and I drifted off into the soothing quiet of sleep. God bless drugs. I didn't wake until we were almost at Umass and pretended to sleep until we pulled into the parking lot. I managed to avoid most of the intellectually devoid chatter.
We arrived early, so we camped out in the lobby of some random building until Neil came along. We went to dinner at Panda East (the best chicken fried rice I have ever had!) where Mother terrorized the waiter and berated him for bringing the wrong dish. It was fun. In the way that fun can be tense and painful. Mother asked invasive questions and Neil was made to feel uncomfortable. I passed out in the car ride back. The sun had set, so it was easier to fall asleep this time. Neil was forced to humor Mother for the ride home. We (my brother and I) bolted from the car as soon as it came to a stop in our driveway and dove for the ca-chunk (my beloved caravan). I backed quickly down the driveway and off to the Grind. We talked for a while and went to Scholar's and Blockbuster to stave off returning home. By the time we got back, Mother had gone to sleep.

Ahh, the holidays. A time of family togetherness and love. Sure, in the Brady Bunch. In real life, it's a loathesome event designed to make the entire family hate each other. My brother has just returned from Umass to the comfort of Bridgewater and the unconditional love of my mother (sarcasm sign). My mother has been bugging him since he got into the car to come home about his attitude and asking nice questions about how his friend's suicide made him feel. The stupid, blithe bitch has since kept asking nice questions along that subject. Mother also got upset (to understate greatly) when my brother refused to talk to my grandparents when she tried to inflict the phone upon him. No one in the family likes to converse with the old people who spawned my mother- they are capable of talking for hours about nothing at all. It baffles the mind. However, my mother has this complex where she constantly tries to please them, so she phones them often and forces the rest of us to talk to them. The grandparent-people scare me. They embody what I never want to become- an old, senile, hypocondriac who chatters mindlessly and is nothing but a burden to all the people around. I must go....... Easter Dinner, yay! :P